Thursday, January 6, 2011

How You Feel by What You Think - How to Influence

How often are you prone to thinking in terms of what you do NOT want to happen in your life and business?

I think we all do, some more often than others; it's one of those human things: we tend to worry about things, try to avoid things, make arrangements not to have to face things, insure ourselves against things, stick our head in the sand about things, blame ourselves for things, blame others for things, etc. etc. You get the point.

I've said it so often, and I'll say it again: in itself, no-thing is right or wrong. It just is, or rather: "things" just ARE. What makes a "thing" good or bad for us is our interpretation of it. Take bankruptcy; in itself nothing more than a legal state of being without funds to pay creditors. Bankruptcy for one person is the end of the world; it can be the trigger to even more determined -and successful- behavior for another.

The Pull Strategy (I tend to prefer this term over Law of Attraction nowadays) dictates that whatever your interpretation of something is, that something seems to be what you attract. So, if you worry about the state of your business or your personal life, things that you worry about seem to pop up more and more. Even neurologically it works that way, as you literally train your brain to look for, or interpret negatively, situations you don't like. You're becoming this "I told you so..." person, who will time after time prove s/he's right, as your predominant focus creates results in that predominant area.

If this is the case, what to do? Are we all doomed, as we can't really stop looking for the bad stuff, or is there an easier, more pleasurable way? There is.

As with Law of Attraction, the Pull Strategy dictates that whatever you focus on will neurologically become a dominant thought, which you will act upon. This action will then create results in -most likely!- that predominant direction. Knowing that, and understanding that you can change your thoughts about "stuff", you can choose to think different predominant thoughts; this will ultimately change you results. You can also change your interpretation of your current dominant thoughts; this will ultimately have the same results as changing your dominant thought altogether.

Two examples, one of each.

  1. Changing your dominant thought altogether. You find you are constantly thinking/worried about your sales and marketing skills. "I cannot seem to attract enough new clients to be profitable", could be one of your predominant thoughts. Change this thought into a new one: "I am working on my sales and marketing skills and getting better and better at attracting new clients", could be a good new idea. You'll obviously have to act on this new idea by focusing on increasing your sales and marketing knowledge, but if you keep this thought up long enough, and focus on evidence that validates it, you WILL at some point form a new belief around sales and marketing. No doubt you will be attracting new clients.
  2. Change the interpretation of your thoughts. Cognitive Behavioural and Neuro Linguistic Programming tools are extremely useful with seeing your current reality in a different light. This mainly happens by challenging your current ideas with questions. You can ask yourself: what is the benefit of not having good sales and marketing skills? I bet you there is something else you are really good at because of it. Or: how are my current ideas about sales and marketing helping me to improve my game? Or: what wouldn't I be as good at if I had focused on sales and marketing more? What would have suffered? The idea is to find enough challenging questions, or interpretations, to admit that your current thoughts and feelings are not as bad as they seem to be. Professional help with formulating those new ideas will be useful. Sometimes we're just "too close to ourselves" to properly challenge ourselves. Changing your perception about a situation will help you putting your thoughts and feelings into perspective, and will definitely take the emotional sting out of the situation. Feeling negative about something is usually caused only by a lopsided perception.

The fact to remember is that your thoughts are the predominant forces to create a "vibe" within you, an emotional response to what you are thinking about. Long term emotional responses will establish a certain reality for you, brought about by the Pull Strategy. There are also physiological factors that come into play with certain emotional feelings, but I'll leave these out of the equation for now.

The upshot is that, if you want to change a situation, and you are willing to take responsibility for having a part in the creation of this situation -by your thoughts and feelings, you will have change your thinking pattern. The results are generally swift and amazing. The first step is to identify which situations are constantly getting your worked up (or which ones you are trying to avoid), so that you can start assessing what your predominant thoughts around this area are. Try this for the next two weeks or so, and email me the results. I am happy to discuss these with you so you can balance them out!

To your success!

Marc is a certified life/business coach, master NLP Practitioner and AusIDentities Personalities Facilitator on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia.

Working as an Executive Business mentor with Glenn Dietzel, Marc is among Australia's Law of Attraction (LOA) experts, and coaches/mentors internationally with the LOA principles in both business and private settings.

Marc inspires his clients to create "Knowareness", a powerful state of presence that allows clients to make the right decisions at the right time, all the time.

Through powerful Personality Type Profiling techniques, Values Elicitation and Business Positioning tools Marc takes his clients' lives and businesses to massive new heights.

Having been a lawyer for nearly 9 years in his "previous life", before immigrating to Australia from The Netherlands, Marc knows exactly how daunting taking the first step in a new direction can be.

On the other hand, he also knows how fulfilling and profitable taking that step can be, and has the knack of imparting his knowledge and wisdom in stunningly simple and highly effective ways.

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